I have to admit to something: I cringe every time that I am referred to as a bride. Even the word “fiancé” makes my stomach knot up a bit. Am I the only one? It is not as though they are new words to me. I probably say them more than the average person given that I am a wedding photographer and all. I have no problems calling my clients “brides” and referring to their loves as “fiancé” but when it comes to me? It just feels so strange.
Josh has been working on introducing me to everyone as his fiancé but I still hesitate when it is my turn. “This is my, uh.. Josh.” Fiancé. It seems so silly. And bride?! Li’l ol’ me, a bride? It just seems wild. I am slowly doing my best to warm up to those words. I keep telling myself that there will be no other time in my life when I can be called those names so why not embrace them?
I never really thought that I cared about being united, officially, with someone. I think that it is a special thing when people get married. I am the photographer hiding behind my camera with tears in my eyes at
every most weddings that I photograph. I am not even kidding. I have had random guests come up to me afterwards and say “I saw you there. I saw you crying.” I cannot help it. I’m emotional. I love love and I love to see people so happy together. But for me? I’m happy and secure in our relationship and have been since day one, err, on the second time around. And although before we even started dating, again, we made plans over a lot of few cocktails about how one day we would move to Mexico. “And how would we do it?” Josh had asked. “Well we would have to get married,” I had replied without hesitation. I had said those words without giving it much thought because they were just the right ones to say at the time and I think that I knew in my heart then that we would get married, one day.
The one thing that I am learning is that having a fiancé means people take you a little more serious. Whoa, she has a diamond on her finger, that’s serious. We have been elevated from dating to the next step: actually officially and outwardly committed. We know ourselves that we have always been that way but suddenly the world can fully believe it. So here we are: I have a fiancé and I am to be a bride. Life is awesome and wild and I’m slowly getting a hang of this wedding thing.
P.S. You already know that the above photo was taken by the amazing Fer Juaristi. For our engagement session with him, we wandered around our neighbourhood of Parkdale in Toronto. The above photo was taken in what we assumed to be an abandoned parking lot. We liked the open space and the random greenery plus those fantastic blue and white walls. We were there for all of two minutes before a man yelled out at us asking us what we were doing. He told us that we had to leave because we had not asked for permission to use his run-down space. Whoops!