Before I get into this blog post, I wanted to preface it. I wanted to say a little disclaimer and talk about this blog a little. First off, in case it wasn’t too obvious, this is my own personal blog where I write about my life happenings. It’s something that I have been doing since the birth of the internet (remember Geocities, Angelfire or LiveJournal, anyone?!). What I write here are my thoughts and opinions on things, whether those things be related to photography or running your own business or planning my own wedding. I write them based on my experiences and life ideals. I do it because I like to share and I hope that when I write, that the readers enjoy it, that I offer some good tips or new insights or maybe even a laugh or two. My intention here is to never offend anyone with any of my thoughts or opinions. I mean, this blog is called Life Awesome, after all. It’s meant to be positive. It’s meant to be about my life as a working professional photographer who loves to travel, eat good food, drink good cocktails and crochet here & there. My current life also includes planning my own wedding which is something that I am surprised to say I am actually enjoying. When I blog about my own wedding, I blog from my experience of working in the wedding industry professionally since 2003. I know that my views on weddings may not be the norm but my hope is that that is okay. I am not making judgements about the choices that other people make for their own weddings. I am merely writing about my own wedding and about what we are doing for our own big day. Because in 2014, weddings are so varied and never has there been so much freedom to choose your day to be exactly how you envision it to be. As my friend Gillian once told me, “When have you ever been one to not let your opinions be known?!” I just love that girl. This is my Life Awesome.
The Adults Only Wedding
So yes, we are doing that thing where the children of our friends are not invited to our wedding. Oh, the horror! 🙂 With all fairness, we gave everyone lots of notice. Eight months before our wedding, we sent out Save the Date cards. The purpose of which was
show off the portrait that my favourite photographer Chris Buck took of us 1) to warn our guests that our wedding is on a Wednesday so they may have to take the day off of work and 2) that it was an Adults Only Party so they would then know that should they have kids, they would have to figure out childcare for that day. Here are our reasons for making this choice.
Other People’s Children
I love other peoples’ children probably more than I should. I spend a lot of time with these babies and kids who belong to others. I love them. They’re hilarious little humans. I spend a lot of my career photographing them and it is a ton of fun. They bring so much joy, they are so open and not self conscious. You can learn a lot about life from spending time with kids. Between Josh and I, we have three nieces and two nephews. My heart is full with love for them. However, I also love our own childless life. I love the freedom that we have to hop on a plane at any time. I love that we can stay out late and sleep in on Sunday mornings. I love our awesome life. Other people’s children rule. Our own life without children also rules.
My opinion is that weddings are not made for kids. Unless you have a ton of them and a separate room with a designated sitter, it’s just not the right place for them to hang. A wedding is full of adult things. The ceremony requires sitting still and not talking. The reception includes food that kids likely don’t like and more quiet sitting and listening when the speeches occur. It’s not fun for them. They don’t want to be there. Plus at every wedding that I have ever photographed that included kids, there is always an adult tripping over them. They’re knee level and are not clear in our peripheral vision and when we have had a couple of wobbly pops, our balance is off. The little guys are dangerous. Weddings are for adults.
First Dance Run Around
We have all seen it before at a wedding, it’s time for the first dance, the couple is up there together as the music starts and as soon as it does, there’s a kid ripping around them, in circles, often already dressed in their pyjamas. Sure, the first or second loop is cute but after that, it’s a bit much. The first dance is supposed to be about the bridal couple and not about some random cute kid. That kid takes away from that moment and I do not think that that is really fair. Sure your kid is cute and maybe they are even well-behaved, but that night should be about the bride and groom. Full stop.
I Love My Friends First
We love our friends. These past couple of weeks we have hung out with so many of them and it’s been wonderful. Josh and I were talking about it the other night and he said “We really are doing alright.” And it’s true. We are surrounded by some awesome people and I feel grateful for that. A lot of these awesome people have kids and it is so great to see them taking that step in their lives. I love watching them change into parents. I love watching their relationships with their partners evolve. I love meeting the kids and I love getting to know them, recognising just whose characteristics and features they have received. But here’s the thing: I loved their parents first. They’re my friends and often, having that proper hang time when they have kids is difficult. For our wedding, it’s important for us to have our friends there, childless, so we can spend time with them. The OG. Just like it used to be, years ago when we all met, even if it’s just for one day.
You bet we have a couple of exceptions. Can you guess? Of course, our own nieces and nephews are invited to the wedding! My heart is filled with so much love for them that it actually hurts to think of them NOT being at our wedding. The thing with these kids, besides our common blood that runs through our veins, is that we know them. They know us. If they are doing something that is inappropriate, we can let them know and they will listen. Kids belonging to other friends would not care about some woman in a white dress asking them to stop whatever they are doing. And because they know each other, they won’t be in the way, they’ll be doing their own thing, spending time together as cousins do. (And they know to stay off the dance floor until the appropriate time.)
So that is our plan and that is why we have chosen to do it. Most of our friends are pretty pumped about it. Any real excuse to have a fun childless night out seems pretty dreamy to most and we cannot wait for it.