I do not often post about negative things because I prefer to focus on the positive ones but I like to also be honest and open about life and that should also be true to this blog. This past weekend it happened: I finally had a wedding meltdown. It was awful. I could not stop crying and nothing that Josh said made things better. I had just had a shower, and the water was just not hot enough which made for a bad time and that small incident was my breaking point. All of the stress of wedding- and life-related things broke and I was a mess. I knew that the meltdown was irrational but I also knew that I had to just let it all out. I’m an emotional person – I cry when I laugh, I cry when I am angry and I cry when I am stressed. Our wedding is seven weeks away now and it feels like there is so much that needs to be done. There are so many things that we need to take care of. There are so many logistical things that we need to figure out. Add on top of that stresses with wedding guests, a major trip that takes place right after our wedding plus other life things (see: Josh’s new job); it is a lot to take on. I know that a wedding is just one day in someone’s life but it’s a big one and we are spending a lot of time and money on this day so it’s pretty important to us. At times it seems that people are forgetting that importance. That this is our wedding, not some random party that we are having where anyone is invited. It’s this one day where we get to do exactly what we want and we just want it to be the best. I spoke to my beautiful friend Katie this week who is getting married three weeks after us (can’t wait!) and she, too, had a wedding meltdown on the weekend. Everyone who is married whom I have talked to this week have said, “Oh yes, I remember the wedding meltdown.” It helps to know that I am not the only one. That I am acting as normal as any bride can act. Phew.
Since Sunday, I have been feeling better about life and the wedding thing and here are my tips so that you can also feel the same.
Take Some Time Off
On Sunday night, I cleaned myself up and headed to Bar Isabel for food & drinks with our friend Christina. It was Josh’s last shift working there and while I was feeling pretty down, I knew that going out would be a good thing. We hung out, dranks some delicious Hendrick’s cocktails, I vented a little regarding wedding things and then we moved on to catching up on real life things. On Monday, I stayed home from the studio, did some work and then played original Nintendo (Super Mario Bros 3 for the win!) for many hours. Josh joined me when he was finished work. It was fun to do things without thinking too much about the wedding or about the vendors who are not replying to emails or things like SOPs and marriage licenses and insurance. So do it, take a day off from wedding-related things and just do things that you truly want to do.
Make a List
On Tuesday I sat down and made a list of everything wedding-related. This included things that we had to deal with for every vendor and aspect of the wedding. Things that we need to buy or make. Guests who we need to get in touch with. Logistics for things like when should hair & makeup be scheduled? Who is picking up the beer? And when? And how is it getting to the venue? I wrote down every single detail that needs to be sorted out. Currently that list sits at two single-spaced pages long and it is ever growing. But, man alive, it feels good to have everything written out in a Google Drive document that is shared between the two of us. It’s going to feel even better as we start scratching things off of said list.
I decided to focus on some of the fun details that we are doing for the wedding. I have been making some cute things (that I cannot speak about until after the wedding!) and it feels good. I’m being productive by doing things that are on my massive To Do list but have also been working with my hands which allows me to relax a little and just enjoy working in that moment. It’s important that every aspect of our wedding has some personal touches and it has been a lot of fun creating these things.
I have started to say “no” to a lot of things lately. I have realised that my time is being stretched thin and unless it something that is really important to me, I just do not have time to take on anything new right now. Any extra energy is going to be focussed on this wedding and other things will have to wait until May. This is the one time in our lives where we get to be selfish and that is 100% okay in my books. If others do not understand that, there likely is not room for them to be in our lives (and again, that is totally okay as well!). I give a lot to everyone in my life but am realising that this is my time where we need to think of ourselves first and foremost.
After all of that, it’s time to simply TCB (take care of business)! After my meltdown and creating the To Do list, we set about tackling it. In the past couple of days, I feel like we have done a good job of that. I did a final site visit of our venue with our amazing planner (hi Crystal!). We emailed all of our vendors who have not been super great at responding to us (hey, we just want to give you money to do some work that you normally do. Cool?!). We got our marriage license from City Hall (hey, we are actually allowed to get married!). We got our SOP (Special Occasion Permit) so that we can actually have a party with alcohol and we even got the insurance that our venue requires. So basically, we figured out the legal stuff so we are, in fact, allowed to have do this wedding-thing and to do so in the way that we envision. Hurray!